A Messy Little Garden

“A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles.”

~ Jim Cahill

Life is all about relationships.

The conversations, the souls we let in, the meals shared and the long days spent together…this is what makes life memorable and sweet. True friendships can surprise you at the most unexpected time in your life. They can come in loud and crazy or quietly and unassuming.

One by one my "Sicily friends" walked into my life and changed my world. They each planted something unique and beautiful and together we created this messy little garden that only we get to enjoy. Slowly we became a strange, dysfunctional family, navigating our way through life and love in Siracusa.

They are the reason my year in Sicily was so amazing.

They are my stories, my heart, my journey, my memories.

Let me tell you a little bit about these friends...my family, my crew. Let me tell you what they taught me and how they changed me for the better. After all, healthy friendships are supposed to challenge us and bring us into a new, better version of ourselves. Friendships are not always easy, but life will teach you which ones to fight for and which ones to let go. Which ones uplift you and which ones are toxic and need to be weeded out.

Let's start with “Spain.” She’s one of the first friends I met back in October 2016. First night I met her we just clicked and I instantly knew she had a good heart. Spain is a kind and sensitive soul. She loves with all her heart and invests her heart into every person she meets. This is her greatest gift and also her worst. She loves fiercely and will go out of her way for her friends. She enjoys exploring new places and has traveled alone for years. She is quietly strong and brave and always, ALWAYS had a story to tell. “Yes we know you love Puglia! Yes we know you hate your landlady! Yes we know you hate your job! Yes we know you’re a vegetarian now stop eating so much chicken!” When I think of her I just smile. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She was by my side through all my tears and heartbreaks, cooked for me when I was sick, laughed with me when we had too much wine and always checked in to make sure my heart was safe. She taught me never be afraid to be alone and got me curious about visiting Puglia. Spain is loyal and kind and excessive in her love for her friends. Her heart is pure and her spirit is free.

Belfast and Ireland are next. I met these two on the same night and I cannot write about one without the other. They were two of my “work girls” and quickly became friends I would come to lean on. The three of us were all around the same age and shared a connection of love, loss, overcoming and strength that comes with age. We were also all involved with Sicilian men. That alone is enough to make us soul sisters for life! We navigated our hearts together through the ups and downs of Sicilian romance and all the sweet intensity that it brings. We shared stories and compared notes. We listened and gave support and advice when needed. Even when mistakes were made with our guys, we were there to help pick up the pieces or just lend a listening ear. We reminded each other to be strong but to also let go and enjoy the romance. Take each sweet experience and open your heart to the possibility of something amazing. Belfast and Ireland taught me that your past does not define your future. Old heartaches can prepare you for the greatest love of your life and new beginnings are possible at any age. Belfast and Ireland have lived amazing lives and the best is yet to come for all three of us. We may be a bit older than the rest but the greatest part of our stories is just beginning!

Glasgow…oh where do I begin!?! The first night we met he called me a “Kardashian” and asked me “Why do Americans have so many guns?’ Just the thing I wanted to hear at 3:00 in the morning. Glasgow is 21, arrogant, adorable and he knows it. He’s Scottish/Italian and obsessively proud to be Scottish. I learned more about European politics from him than I ever could from the BBC. He has the strongest Scottish accent I have ever heard in real life. It honestly took me about 2 weeks to finally understand what he was saying. I would have to concentrate so hard sometimes. It was like sitting in a college class focusing so intently to understand a crazy strange professor. Some nights it was just too much work after countless glasses of wine. I give up! Someone, please translate?!? Glasgow is young, wild, reckless and wanted to experience everything Siracusa had to offer. He is loud and funny, kind and sensitive. He fought with and offended almost everyone in our group, but at the end of the day…our love for him forgave any nonsense that ever came out of his mouth. I felt like a big sister to him and found myself being very overprotective with him. He was mine and no one was going to break his heart or hurt him. Most of the time it was him breaking the hearts, but I still worried about him at night and always checked in when he wasn’t with the group. He taught me to love and protect even when someone doesn't think they need it. He made me feel young and beautiful and brought out the caring and ‘I need to school you right now’ big sister in me. His personality is larger than life and someday he will be in charge of a free, independent Scotland….God help us!

Manchester is next. Manchester could get his own book! He is also 21, adorable and knows it. He is wonderfully arrogant and sarcastic and likes to push people's buttons. He is cocky, confident and loves to stir the pot. He would quietly drop little grenades and sit back and watch them explode. At first, I would get so offended and hurt. It was my first time around someone so British and I just didn't see his sarcasm as funny. After many, many conversations about the difference in American and British humor (humour) we had to come to an understanding and a compromise. He eased up a little on the sarcasm and I learned to toughen up and stop being such a sensitive American. Manchester became like a little brother for me and I adore him with all my heart. He puts up a tough exterior but he can actually be a great listener and gives good, solid drama-free advice. I learned that his sarcasm and rude comments are his way of showing he cares. The day he starts being really kind is the day I know something has gone wrong in our friendship. He still talks to me like I’m British when in reality I can't understand his Northern England lingo at all. I'm looking forward to the day when I won't need a translation!

Perth is determined and strong. She is beautiful and graceful. She is kind, loyal and sensitive. She is supportive but not overly emotional. We developed this sweet, quiet connection that grew stronger each time we hung out. Her friendship was easy and genuine. Nothing was ever forced or fake. We came together as two strong women who didn’t get offended or take things to heart if the other was in a bad or quiet mood. We stood by each other and encouraged each other and compared notes about dating Sicilian men. She taught me to be strong and independent yet completely open and vulnerable when you find a sweet friend you can trust. Sometimes the quietest, most simple friendships turn out to be the strongest and most precious. This is what my Perth was for me. We are forever connected by our time together in Sicily. Our shared love of lazy days at the beach, ginseng espresso, seafood and quality conversations brought us together and I am extra grateful for the stability and support she gave me.

I can’t talk about Perth without mentioning Australia! The three of us became an unexpected trio by May until the time they left in mid-July. Australia joined us in March. She brought a youthfulness to our group that was refreshing and made us complete. She is the perfect combination of wild and sophisticated. She can go from being a drunken millennial to a classy young lady. She seems quiet and kind but can be truthfully harsh and direct when needed. She has the most easy-going temperament (except when she’s has a few too many, then watch out! She is no joke!!) Being with her was also easy and simple and brought a sense of peace to my life. My days spent with Australia were some of the most memorable and authentic. We would set out on our day with no plans and let the day take us away. On those crazy hot Sicilian days, we would binge-watch old episodes of Friends to fill our time. We also spent some days being “tourists” together. We visited museums, churches, and really explored our beautiful city of Ortigia. Australia taught me that age doesn’t matter when it comes to friendship. A connection can be made with someone literally half, or twice your age and age is truly nothing but a side note. She taught me to appreciate the little details of life…sharing a delicious arancino, admiring a beautiful painting, walking the streets of Ortigia or waking up at 5 am to watch an unforgettable sunrise.

My favorite outings with Perth and Australia were our quiet days spent at San Lorenzo beach. We had a nice little routine…we would grab paninis, green olives, tons of water and a few bags of chips (crisps) and lounge in the sun all day drinking mojitos and beers.

Perth and Australia are my sweet, fierce and loyal friends that will forever have a special place in my heart. The best part about our friendship is that it was quiet, easy and unexpected. Our “San Lorenzo, Bar Viola, late nights at the Marina, Boat Party memories and jokes that only we get, will forever connect us in a special way.

Some people walk into our lives and may leave a simple flower. Other may leave a beautiful bouquet…but it's the people we choose to plant a garden with that make life memorable. That's what these friendships were for me…they changed my life, my heart and made me stronger.

This colorful, wild garden was created in Sicily. Its roots are Sicilian…strong, loyal, beautiful and fierce. We are all in different parts of the world now. Some are just graduating college, some are starting new careers, leaving old careers or exploring new parts of the world. No matter where we are, we still take time each week to just check in and say hi. Distance has only made our roots stronger and our garden more peaceful.

I hope the future will bring us all back together to that crazy beautiful place we once called home.

I love all you crazies

See you soon…

Written February 2018